Cowboy Bebop is not mine. Julia (not CB Julia), Danny, Trent, and Nanami are, so PLEASE do not take them for your own story without my permission!

WARNING: This fic contains mentions of death, child neglect, suicide and sexual harassment. Viewer discretion is advised.

Letter to Spike
A Cowboy Bebop fanfiction by Cardcaptor Mars

In the silence of the graveyard, a young woman made her way through the still stones bearing the inscriptions of the people who owned them. Her long hair shining in the sun, she looked around until she found the one she was looking for. Standing in front of the gravestone, she heavily sighed and began to talk.

"Hey, Spike," she said, pulling a piece of paper and an envelope out of her shoulder bag. "Beautiful day, isn't it?"

She looked at the paper and smiled a bit. She opened the folded paper and held it out in front of her.

"Just to make sure I didn't make any mistakes," she chuckled. “Not that you would really care, I guess."

She bit her lip and began to read silently to herself:

Dear Spike,

How is everything, wherever you are? I’m sure it’s really nice there. I hope you like it.

Life is pretty good for me. A lot has changed since you left. It was hard, after I heard you were dead. You were a wonderful friend to me, even if it looked like you didn’t care. I don’t know how long I cried...Anyway, it’s been years now, so what am I doing by boring you to death (sorry) with sentimental crap?

Well, I ran out of money and was forced to get a job. God, the one I had sucked. I was a waitress at a bar for a while. The place was filled with perverts. Every night someone would make crude remarks, unnecessary advancements, even go as far to ask if I would do a lap dance! Finally I just got tired of it. I turned in my outfit and left.

I went bounty hunting again, which is what I still do. Guess I’m destined for that job. I’ve managed to make over a million woolongs, can you believe it? Ok, fine, I’m over exaggerating that a bit. I’ve been having a few problems lately. The Bebop is old; it’s so worn down. It’s been getting harder and harder to take care of.

That’s right, I’m back on Bebop. Left for a while then came back. Pretty much another destiny, huh? Bad news, though: Everyone else is gone. They all died in one way or another. With two of them, their bodies still haven’t been found. I wonder if they’re wherever you are with you. If so, say hi to them for me, ok? There’s a new crew, along with me (five of us, like last time, if you count Ein), but...I don’t know, it feels so...weird. I’m sorry to say this (especially to Jet), but we’re thinking of selling the Bebop and getting a new ship. The newbies have been ready to sell it a long time ago. They’re getting a little pissed off at me for saying no, but I just can’t seem to let go of it. Maybe it’s the memory thing. Maybe I’m too used to the Bebop.

Oh, the newbies? I guess I should introduce you:

First there’s Julia (yes, Julia) Lawrence. She’s 19 years old, came from Io. She reminds me so much of you! She’s very into the martial arts, but her credit goes to Jackie Chan and her Tae Kwon Do instructor. She’s also somewhat of our ringleader, always being the first one to go out when there’s a bounty and the one who gets beaten up the most. She doesn’t seem to mind it, though, considering that she’s back up and running in a few days, even if she has the worst of injuries. I swear she’s going to kill herself if she keeps that up! The scariest thing is that she almost looks like you! Green hair, dark eyes, the whole bit. Her past? I don’t know, she never really talks about it. All I know is that it’s not the same one her brother has. I think she turned to bounty hunting after the incident, even though she claims she’s been bounty hunting her whole life.

Julia’s half-brother, Danny, is also a member of our little crew. Five years older than his sister. He and Julia seem to be pretty close, but there’s always the whole brother-and-sister quarrel going on. Anyway, on to Danny. Danny’s spent his whole life on the run since he was a little kid. His mom had (or should I say still has) a huge-ass bounty on her head for murdering his father, who apparently worked for the government on Io. When he was six and Julia was one (apparently she’s from a one-night stand), their mother took off to God-knows-where and left the two of them on Io to fend for themselves. That’s all I know of that. Danny turned to stealing for money and food, which is why he’s a genius at pick pocketing and breaking into high security locks without a computer. The only reason he’s bounty hunting is to pay up for his last run-in with the police. Believe me, he gets pretty pissed when you mention that to him.

Third is Trent Kaiser. 26 years old, Venus resident. Trent craves to be a star, but the poor guy never seems to pass anymore than the second audition. He came to the “famous” Bebop in hopes to get an agent’s attention. You can imagine his reaction to the dangers we face. He can’t pilot a plane worth shit, as he said he could (we‘re still working on that). When he sees something that says “audition”, he’ll abandon us faster than you can say “Hollywood”, then come back with a disappointed look on his face. So why do we keep Trent? For one thing, he’s quick with a gun, despite bad aim. Second, he has enough acting skills to trick most of our bounties.

Last, but not least, is Nanami, a black panther. She escaped from a zoo on Mars and stowed away on Bebop. We found her getting into the food. She’s very sweet, but Julia and Danny aren’t all that fond of her. Julia thinks she’s too much of a distraction and says we should leave her and Trent on the next planet we go to. Danny hates animals, period.

I hope I’m not boring you too much with this letter. See, none of this is the reason why I wrote to you. The thing is...Goddammit, why am I so reluctant to tell this to a dead person? The thing is, I’m only writing to tell you how I really felt about you. I don’t know if you were fond of me or not, but...oh, I don’t know. There was just something about you! I didn’t know if it was your looks, your attitude, your personality or what, but I loved you for it. I can’t say it was just a small schoolgirl crush. I still had it even after I had left the Bebop the first time. When I heard you were killed, I nearly committed suicide. I’ve dated quite a few guys, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to love them as much as I did you. I still have that crush. It was worse after the others died. I’ve lost the four people I loved most, and yet I’m still here, still miserable...

Look, I’m sorry for such a dull letter. I’m sorry for waiting so long to tell you how I really feel. And I’m sorry for leaving all of you in the first place.

Sincerely,

Allison “Edward” Strickland.

P.S. Yes, I did change my name, but people still call me Ed or Edward.

Ed sighed and smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. She really wasn’t all that good at writing letters. Especially not love letters. She put the letter in the envelope, sealed it, and placed it on the grave. She stared at the dull stone for a while until she felt a small nudge on her legs. Nanami stared up at her, as if she wanted her to feel better.

“You coming?” A voice asked behind her.

Turning around, Ed saw Julia leaning her back against a tree, waiting patiently and smiling at her in a “cheer up“ way. Ed smiled and nodded.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m coming.”

As you can tell, that was a one-sided Spike/Ed fic. It’s the first bittersweet fic that I’ve done in a long time, but I hoped you liked it anyway. ^-^